Outdated Mother of the Bride and Groom Traditions We're Glad to Leave Behind

Weddings have evolved in so many beautiful ways and thankfully, so has the role (and wardrobe!) of the mother of the bride and mother of the groom. If you're preparing for your child's big day and wondering what traditions you have to follow, the good news is: many of the old rules no longer apply.

 

Let's take a look at some long-standing traditions that modern moms are happily updating or ditching altogether.

                                                    

1. Muted, Matronly Dresses Only

Then: Mothers were expected to dress modestly in muted colors like beige, navy, or blush nothing too bold, nothing too sparkly.

Now: Today's moms are embracing color, texture, and style. From rich jewel tones to modern metallics, they're choosing gowns that reflect their personality and photograph beautifully. Style no longer means fading into the background.

 

3. Hats and Corsages 

Then: Formal hats and large shoulder corsages were seen as traditional signs of a mother's role at the wedding.

Now: While hats are still popular at ultra-formal or British-inspired events, most moms opt for modern accessories like statement jewelry, clutch bouquets, or no flowers at all.

                                   

 

4. Hosting Duties Are Firmly Divided

Then: The bride's family paid for the wedding, while the groom's family handled the rehearsal dinner.

Now: Today's weddings are often a team effort. Many couples (and their families) split costs in ways that reflect their budgets and relationships are not outdated expectations.

Reality Check: The days who pays for what rulebook has been tossed. Focus on what works best for your family dynamic.

 

5. Moms Stay Out of the Spotlight

Then: Mothers were expected to be reserved and staying seated during the reception and letting others take the lead.

Now: Moms are often center stage giving heartfelt toasts, hitting the dance floor and fully celebrating this major life milestone.

 

                      

 

6. Avoid Matching the Wedding Party

Then: It was considered inappropriate for mothers to wear anything resembling the bridal party.

Now: Coordination is key! While moms don't match the bridesmaids exactly, they often choose complementary colors and styles to create a beautifully cohesive look in photos.

 

Example: If the bridesmaids are wearing dusty blue, a mother of the bride might wear slate, navy, or soft silver.

 

7. No Black or White Allowed

Then: Black was considered too somber, and white was seen as competing with the bride.

Now: A sleek black dress is often encouraged (especially for evening or formal weddings), and ivory or champagne tones can be stunning on mothers as long as they don't overshadow the bride's gown.

    

 

The most important tradition to keep? Feeling beautiful, confident and like yourself. Whether you're the mother of the bride or the groom, your outfit should honor the occasion and your own sense of style. Forget the outdated rules this is your moment, too.

 

Need Help Finding the Perfect Look?

As a personal stylist who specializes in dressing mothers of the bride and groom, I help women find dresses that flatter their body type, fit the formality of the wedding, and reflect their personal style.

 

To set up your free thirty-minute consultation to learn how virtual styling can help you in your search for the perfect gown.